A Thousand Words

Happy Birthday wishes to Jenny (Monday) and Olivia (yesterday).  How wonderfully cute that my oldest and bestest friends have birthdays one day apart.

All is well here.  And uneventful.  Hence, my lack of updates.  I don’t even have anything (new) to get off my chest.

Instead, I share with you one of the most awesome celebrity photos I have ever seen.  It proves that despite having tons of money, the ability to hire a stylist, one’s youth, and a decent, if postnatal, figure, one can look unspeakably awful.  This goes beyond mere bad taste; it’s just plain Bad:

I may be older, rounder, shorter, and poorer than Pop Tart Brit, but by god, I have never looked that appalling.

Seriously.  Imagine you’re at a restaurant and THAT is sitting across from you.  What would you think?  Of course, if one of us “regular folks” were to go to a dining establishment so attired, I think we’d be turned away at the door, and rightfully so.

Consider, too, that daily laughter is excellent for one’s health and wellbeing.  Result:  I, for one, am feeling pretty good about myself.

Have a lovely day.

Disconnected

I had about four hours’ sleep last night.  It was not uninterrupted.

I am so tired I can barely keep my eyes open.

It’s my own fault.  I just stayed up way too late.

I don’t want to do any work.  I wish the attorneys would leave me alone.

I like it when the attorneys are tied up on conference calls, their office doors closed.

I brought in some lilacs to brighten my aura in the midst of this ceaseless rain.

I love the smell of lilacs.  I think it is my absolute favorite fragrance.

When I was house hunting, I knew I would plant, if nothing else, a lilac bush.

The house I bought had a lilac bush and very few other plantings.

I read up on proper care for lilacs to ensure maximum blooms.  I followed the guidelines but was dissatisfied with the amount of blooms.

For the past couple of years, I did no pruning, trimming, cutting back, or deadheading of my lilac.  This year it has more blooms than ever.

Mom is well.  She is one hundred percent recovered.  Amazing, considering how touch-and-go she was last year.  For the first time in her adult life, she is a non-smoker.

It was great to be at Tim and Jackie’s annual Mother’s Day cookout yesterday, instead of at a hospital.

We ate indoors.

Tim barbecued chicken at the open end of the garage.

P.J. is well, too.  Clearly, that cancer diagnosis was a false-positive.

I would love to go home and take a snooze on the couch.

The summer bowling league I joined starts tonight.

Maybe I will have time for a twenty-minute Power Nap.

Lauren joined the league, too.

But Jeannie and Leah wimped out.

They had lame excuses:  (1) It will adversely affect their tenpin game; (2) they’re too tired on Mondays; (3) it’s too far.

Rebuttal:  (1) They are not in a tenpin league; (2) they should be tired at the end of the week, not the beginning; (3) it’s a twenty-minute drive to the bowling alley, shorter than the distance they travel on weeknights to play slots.

When I am overtired, I have zero appetite.

Forty minutes to go.

Comments:

2 + 2 = 5

What could be better than Nine Inch Nails and Bauhaus?

How about Radiohead?

Boston.  June 4 and 5.  Believe it or not, I think I’m going to pass even though I’ve been longing to see them since the 2003 tour.  Traffic to Boston venue = nasty.  Also, as previously mentioned here, I prefer outdoor/“shed” concerts to indoor concerts.  I last saw Radiohead at an outdoor venue, it was absolutely EUPHORIC, and to go to an indoor venue now likely would be a huge disappointment by comparison.

So I’m passing.

I think.

Waaaaaaaaaaahhhh!

Comments:

Rhode Island Red

Rep. Patrick Kennedy will enter rehab for addiction to prescription pain medication Friday evening after a highly publicized car crash near the Capitol.

Um, didn’t yesterday’s official statement mention “a prescribed amount” of medication?  Pardon me for nitpicking, but a PRESCRIBED AMOUNT isn’t quite the same as an ADDICTION, is it?

Sure, if it’s prescribed by three or four physicians, none of whom know about the others and their prescriptions.

Nice try.

“I simply do not remember getting out of bed, being pulled over by the police, or being cited for three driving infractions,” Kennedy said.  “That’s not how I want to live my life.  And that’s not how I want to represent the people of Rhode Island.”

And that’s not how the people of Rhode Island want to be represented, loser.  I moved away from Massachusetts and your father (Mom would vote, in vain, for anyone who bothered to run against Papa Ted) only to wind up with you.  I guess you don’t remember the staggering and stuff, either:

The report by a U.S. Capitol Police officer said Kennedy drove his 1997 Ford Mustang convertible into a security barrier near the Capitol shortly before 3 a.m. Thursday, and that Kennedy had red, watery eyes, slurred speech and unsteady balance.The report also said Kennedy was traveling at a high rate of speed, swerving onto the wrong side of the road, and driving without his lights on.  Kennedy nearly struck a Capitol Police cruiser, the report said.

No lights?  Space Cruising is awesome, huh?  Way to go.  Good driving.  Drug run?

Cannon said the officers involved in the accident were instructed by an official “above the rank of patrolman” to take Kennedy home and no sobriety tests were conducted at the scene.

What the fuck?!  No sobriety tests?!  Funny, I thought those pesky little tests were supposed to be administered when someone driving like a maniac staggers out of his vehicle looking like he’s been partying for days on end with Cheech and Chong.

“I think he was given consideration in regards to his position and afforded the opportunity to be taken home,” Cannon said.

Ya think?

Kennedy told the police he was late for a vote, but the final vote of the night had taken place some six hours earlier. Kennedy has denied any favorable treatment.

Three a.m.?  Late for a vote?  Are there a lot of those middle of the night votes?  And just how fast would one (even one on a “prescribed amount” of medication) need to drive to make up a six-hour delay?  If Erratically Driven Car A were traveling at warp speed 6 times the speed of light…

Of course he denies any favorable treatment.  Because he FORGOT everything that did/did not happen.  ADMITTEDLY.  I think that’s called a blackout, bud.  You can double-check with your boozehound mother.  Hey, maybe you two can share a room at rehab! Wouldn’t that be fun?

What next, Paddy?  How about a ride to Chappaquiddick? (I’ve heard it’s a great way to “accidentally” lose someone.)

Happy Cinco de Mayo! (heh)

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