All Saints

First, I’m sharing some cool stuff I found:

BEFORE CLICKING ON THE LINK BELOW:
Observation Skills.  Two seemingly identical pictures that will appear on the screen.  Nearly 10,000 people were tested to determine whether they could find the 3 subtle disparities between the photos.  Only 28 of the 10,000 people tested found all 3 differences.  This is not as easy as you might think.

http://members.home.nl/saen/Special/Zoeken.swf 

How did you do?  Did you find anything?

Okay, if you need to relax a little, take some deep breaths, go here:  http://www.cubpack81.com/images/carve_pumpkin.swf, and carve a pumpkin.

Lastly, here’s a picture of the card I made for Emma.  (The gray background/border is my kitchen counter.)

HaPPy HaLLoWeeN!

Stuck in my head:  “Airbag” – Radiohead

Comments:

Unfinished Business

First, about that health issue.  Diabetes, as in The Threat Of.  High Risk, or should I say, Higher Risk.  Yeah, Dad, thank you and your whole fucking side of the family for those genes.  Dammit.  So, the rest of those twenty pounds that I didn’t lose over the summer just FELL OFF last week.  Scared straight and frayed nerves.  It’s funny how quickly those sugar cravings disappear like a dick in ice water.  Yeah, I have a choice to make, but I think it’s a no-brainer:  chocolate or life?  Okay, I may be overstating the issue, but I DON’T WANT DIABETES.  I don’t want insulin shots, I don’t want dialysis, I don’t want poor vision, I don’t want anything amputated, and I don’t want to die young.  Got it?

Scared, confused, angry, and FIGHTING BACK.

* * * * *

Moving on to some bowling news.

1.  Remember how I said it appeared that Melinda had no new body art this year?  Well, I was wrong.  Silly me.  She has another tattoo.  This one is on her shoulder – a tropical sunset-palm tree-beach scene.  It’s about five inches long and three or four inches high.  Too big for a shoulder, I’d say.

And I noticed Skank Thing has a dark sunburst on her shoulder.  No surprise.  She probably has another tattoo of a big arrow pointing from her navel down to her crotch with the words “DO ME HERE.”  She’s all class like that.

You know, the more I see tattoos, the more I realize I don’t like them.  They’re nasty.  Really, I’ve never seen one that I found to be attractive.  And, excepting expensive laser removal, they’re so PERMANENT.  I can’t make that kind of commitment.  Seriously, what tattoo would I want today that I would still want when I’m 80 (assuming I can escape The Threat of Diabetes for that long)?  It’s like being told you have to wear the same earrings every day for the rest of your life.  Who wouldn’t get sick of that?

2.  Lala showed up last week, seemingly for the purpose of hanging out with me post-bowling.  Just when I thought it was safe….  I’ve been enjoying the calm emotional waters for the past year without him.  I haven’t missed him.  I’ve gotten over him.  I’m happy.

Nevertheless, I did hang out with him.  Apparently, I’ve gotten past the anger, too.  Like, he’s who he is, and that’s not for me.  So be it.

And a strange thing happened.  Some of the things he said or didn’t say or did or didn’t do in the past that pissed me off – he did the reverse last week.  As if he were going out of his way to be nice to me.  I don’t mean Horny Nice.  Gentlemanly Nice.  He even said something nice about a cat.

The bastard.

He’s up to something.  I figure he’s either (a) looking for a second chance even though I told Mack I’d never allow it, or (b) testing me to see how I act around him because he’s interested in rejoining the league but doesn’t want to do so if there’s too much tension.  (I’ve suspected his absence from the league for the past year had something to do with Skank Thing or me – or both of us.)

Whatever.  Time will tell.  I’m past my anger, but I haven’t forgotten what it was that angered me in the first place.

Autumn

Stuck in my head:  “Gravity” – A Perfect Circle

Comments:

Friday Five; Scores

Sorry, kids.  Nothing substantive to report – or that I care to report.*  Other than I bowled a 140 game last week, 38 over my average.  Yea, me!

* There’s a health issue going on.  I may discuss it in the future, but I reserve the right not to.

Friday Five:

1.  How many times do you hit the snooze button on a typical morning?
Two or three.  I use my cell phone as my alarm clock.  Each snooze is five minutes.

2.  How many cousins do you have?
I have one family of first cousins, five males and one female.  For the most part, they are losers.  The oldest has done jail time for possession of drugs and firearms.  The one girl became a grandma at age 35; her first husband spent more time in drug rehab than at home.  Only one of the six graduated from high school.  With competition like that, it was easy for Tim and me to be the star grandchildren.

3.  How many bones have you broken?
None!  Not my own or anyone else’s.

4.  How many pairs of shoes do you own?
Eek!  Counting ALL the sandals and stuff like slippers and snow boots and various athletic shoes?  And my big black crushed velvet platform slides that make me feel like a member of Kiss?  Over 50.  Maybe over 70.  Maybe.

5.  How many things that belong in the kitchen are in your bedroom?
None that I can think of.  The room is a dump because of all the piles of clothes I need to sort through (and get rid of many), but it’s all bedroom stuff in there.  It’s like sleeping in a messy walk-in closet.  Very un-Virgolike.  I am determined to conquer this room by spring, meaning I have all winter, all that time trapped indoors, to accomplish my task.

* * * * *

Last week’s scores:  112-140-94; Games won:  2

Stuck in my head:  “I Wanna Be Sedated” – Ramones

Comments:

Bugs – It’s What’s for Breakfast

I was awakened this morning by the sound of cats shuffling about.  In the early morning light, I could make out two feline silhouettes looking upward and trying to get on High Things (bad!).  I listened but heard no noise, so I turned on the lamp on the nightstand.

There was a moth high up on the wall, near the ceiling.  A big, giant moth.  Dang.  I didn’t want to get out of bed to kill it, but I knew the cats (P.J. and Rory, I see, now that the light is on) would not give up pursuit of their prey, meaning no sleep for me.

I grabbed Rory off the headboard just as he was about to attempt to climb the curtains.  At the same time, the moth moved down a bit, and Rory leapt to the nightstand and swatted Big Moth to the floor.  Amazingly, none of my crap on the nightstand was disturbed.

From my bed, I watched as P.J. tried to get in on the action, but Rory seemed to have things under control.  Big Moth’s wings were fluttering, but he was incapable of flight.  Rory continued pawing and nipping, and Big Moth eventually made its way under the bed.  Rory was confused, but P.J. reached under the bed skirt and got that sucker out.

And then P.J. ate Big Moth.

This is why they don’t have cats on “Fear Factor.”  Eat live bugs?  No problem!  Doesn’t make for suspenseful viewing, though.  Of course, anything involving water would make up for it.  Send those kitty contestants into hiding for days on end.

Anyway, cool for me.  No more moth, and I didn’t have to get out of bed.  I turned off the lamp and rolled over.

Not thirty seconds later, the alarm went off.

I know there will be some cat puke to clean up when I get home.

Comments:

Tool for Beginners

Ummm, I have to admit I always thought that Tool was a band for angry dudes – just supposing I don’t know shite about them, where’s a good place to start?

Thanks for asking, Betti.

I’ve chosen to respond right here, because I so enjoy waxing semi-eloquent on the subject.

It has been only for the past few years that I’ve been digging Tool.  It stemmed from my love of Maynard James Keenan’s other band, A Perfect Circle.  Yes, I know this is kind of a backwards route to take, but since I’m SO out of Tool’s demographics (except that I am Caucasian), I guess I get to do things my way.

As for A Perfect Circle, the first single from their first CD didn’t wow me.  It was the subsequent “Three Libras” that I fell in love with.  I purchased the CD (Mer de Noms) and devoured the rich sounds.  The follow-up, Thirteenth Step, is perhaps even more “listener-friendly.”  I mention this because if you try out some Tool and still find them to be too “band for angry dudes,” APC might be the way to go.

Prior to APC, Tool was a take it or leave it band for me.  Then, around the same time I was eating up APC, Tool’s “Schism” really grew on me.  I purchased Lateralus, their most recent release at the time, and found that I already knew (and liked!) several of the songs.  So I continued in reverse chronology and purchased Aenima.  Dug that, too.  This year, I purchased 10,000 Days shortly after its release, as I was already enthralled with “Vicarious.”  Awesome CD.  I really wouldn’t classify it as angry dude music.

Sometimes I think I must hear music differently from most people.  Certain songs seem to penetrate not just my ears, but every pore in my body, and this applies to much of Tool’s catalog.  The artful, complex construction of the songs and Maynard’s rich vocals and passionate delivery (whether a primal scream or a soothing whisper) are aural beauty, to this listener.  It’s not just anger for anger’s sake. Sometimes it’s not anger at all:  “Celebrate this chance to be alive and breathing” (“Parabola”).  Remember, not all passions are anger.  Don’t let the creepy videos or aggressive delivery fool you.  And remember that the lyrics often have metaphorical meaning.

Of course, if some twenty-something ex-frat boy wants to hear nothing but fury and brutality, well, that’s his freedom of choice.  Or self-imposed lack thereof.

Undertow and Opiate will be in my CD collection soon enough, I’m sure.

Did I babble and confuse?  Sorry.

I suggest trying Lateralus and/or 10,000 Days.  Alternatively, check out APC (Mer de Noms and Thirteenth Step ).

Happy listening.  Let me know what you think.  Don’t hold back.

Stuck in my head:  “Orestes” – A Perfect Circle

Comments:

Tool (9-29-06)

First of all, let me say that any concert that begins with a song titled “Stinkfist” has to be good.  So Very Good.

Twenty thousand people, the starlit sky, and Tool.  How’s that for some fucking awesome ambience?

I was accompanied by coworker Tina, who continues to cross over to the dark side (she joined us for Nine Inch Nails) yet remains a Fanilow.  We hit the road just before 5:00.  Early, but we were combating rush hour traffic and trying to beat the logjam of a sold-out show.  I didn’t want to get stuck like we did going to Radiohead a few years back.  We arrived just before 6:00, ate our packed sandwiches, and sipped beer (me) and wine (Tina).  Sipped, because I’m so not using those portajohns.  We chatted with (and dummy me had to borrow a bottle opener from) the surrounding tailgaters, a ninety percent or so male population.  Yeah, that was even more skewed that I expected.

Neither Tina nor I cared to see the opening band, Isis, but eventually we decided to down another beer/glass of wine, go in early, make a pit stop, look at the overpriced T-shirts, and go directly to our seats.  DO NOT STOP AT THE BEER VENDOR.  DO NOT PAY $7.50 FOR A SHITTY DRAFT.

Isis.  Honestly, never heard of ‘em.  They didn’t take the stage until 8:00, so I figured (correctly) it would be only a 30-minute set.  Isis wasn’t bad, but I won’t be running out to get their CD(s).  I will say, though, that they were an appropriate opener for Tool, and I don’t think a lot of bands could fit that bill.

Once again, the weather gods kept us rain-free.  (Apparently, weather gods like NIN and Tool.)  It was a tad nippy, but I was fine with it (as was my ripply hair).  Better a tad nippy than a tad humid.  Pre-Tool, I curled up in my seat with my lined windbreaker covering me.  I didn’t want to actually wear it until I was certain that I would not be taking it off.  You see, white flannel lining does bad things to a black jersey.  I donned the windbreaker just before Tool took the stage.

Maynard was engaging.

“Jesus fucking christ, it’s cold!

“The only way I’m going to be able to stay warm is if I have a lot of premarital sex.”  (big cheers from crowd)  “But not with you, sir … or you, sir.  Go back to your seats.”

Maynard performed from the only slightly elevated drum platform.  No screens, wigs, makeup, or back to the audience this time around.  Drummer Danny Carey was set up on one side of the platform, and Maynard did his thing on the other side.  He sang in his customary kokopelli pose and switched back and forth from Mohawk Maynard Kokopelli to Cowboy Maynard Bronco Bucking.  (Sounds like new yoga positions.  Downward Maynard Dog?)

Some of the set flow was a little awkward in my opinion, but only because Tool is more an album-oriented band, so constructing a good set list presents something of a challenge.  Of course, “Lost Keys” flowed into “Rosetta Stoned,” and ditto for “Wings for Marie” and “10,000 Days.”  That was to be expected.  However, despite what I just said about set flow, all four back-to-back might have been a bit much.  I’m just saying, guys.

The first half of the altered version of “Schism” didn’t totally work for me, either.  Maynard’s vocal delivery seemed slightly out of synch.  The super speeded up bridge, however, was truly amazing, thanks to Danny’s MAD CRAZY drumming (more mad crazy than usual), and the rest of the song was all good, including the vocals.  Hell, I would LOVE to have a live recording of this one.  That bridge was un-fucking-believable.  Danny Carey is the ‘nads!

Those are the only weensy negative things I have to say.  The rest of the concert was heavenly.

After hearing “10,000 Days” live, I have a greater appreciation for the song.  I was absolutely entranced for the 15+/- minute duration.  Yes, Maynard, I will drink the Kool-Aid.  (Or your Caduceus label wine.  Whatever.)

The band broke after “10,000 Days” (really, what could have followed that?), but rather than disappear backstage, they just convened at the edge of the drum platform and sat and chilled for a while, watching the audience go all lighters and chair drumming for their encore.

Tina:  We don’t see this side of you at work.

Me:  Well, it’s not like Tool is doing regular gigs in the board room.

Set list, to my best recollection:

Stinkfist
The Pot
Forty Six and Two
Jambi
Schism
Lost Keys
Rosetta Stoned
Wings for Marie
10,000 Days
Lateralus
Vicarious
Aenema

Yes, twelve songs sounds skimpy, but keep in mind that the Under Seven-Minute Song is a rarity in Tool’s catalog.  Live, many of the songs were even longer.  In fact, Tool was on stage for close to two hours.

Non-Maynard Quote of the Evening (from yours truly):  Upon exiting the parking lot, the car with the Maine plates directly ahead of us decided at the last possible second to merge into the left lane.  So we had to stop.  And wait.  And the car in the left lane stopped.  And waited.  And still, Maine sat there, not moving, with its directional light blinking.  Everyone else was stopped.  And waiting, waiting.

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR – A FUCKING CANDYGRAM?!

My window was down.  Left lane car’s window was down, too, and I heard much laughter.

Lastly, lesson learned:  Don’t, in a fit of excitement, go online two days before the concert and track down the set lists from recent shows.  It’s like peeking at your Christmas gifts.

Stuck in my head:  “Rosetta Stoned” – Tool

Comments:

Beg, Borrow, Steal, Murder

First things first:  School has been back in session for what – a month? – and how many shootings have there been already?  What the fuck is going on?!

Onward.  Okay, so I didn’t beg for it.  But I keep seeing this meme in everyone’s diary, so I just had to do it, too.  Am I usually such a sheep?  I don’t think so.  Besides, most of the BFBs are out today, celebrating their new year with a day of atonement, so I have some free time.  I don’t need to atone.  Heh.

Do you hate more than 3 people?
Hate is an awfully intense emotion.  Sure, I use the word, but do I really mean it?  I don’t think I truly hate more than three people, but there are a lot who offend me and my sense of values, who annoy me to no end, and who bug the shit out of me.

What is your favorite candy bar?
Peanut M&Ms, even though it technically isn’t a bar.  Runners-up:  Peanut butter M&Ms, peanut butter cups, Dove milk chocolate.

What are your favorite shoes?
I prefer sandals or boots, depending on the season.  Shoes are what I have to wear during the transition.

Have you ever tripped someone?
I don’t think so.

Do you own a Britney Spears CD?
Oh, fuck no!

Have you ever thrown up in public?
Well, if sticking one’s head out the passenger’s side of a friend’s vehicle and blowing chunks while traveling at approximately 65 MPH on I-195 counts…  Yes.  Times two.  MANY years ago.

What is your favorite music genre?
Punk, alt-rock

What is your sign?
Virgo, baby.

What time were you born?
6:45 a.m. on a Sunday.  During football season, the nerve of me.  Or should I say, the nerve of Dr. Forceps?  Yup, 20 days after the due date, they finally decided to induce Mom.  I graced the world well before kickoff, though. You’re welcome, Dad.

Do you like beer?
I do.

Have you ever made a prank call?
Ah, to be an adolescent before the era of caller ID and *69.  Also, Olivia’s Mom had some gizmo stashed away in the basement that connected to ye olde rotary phone and made it a speakerphone.  Olivia found it.  So, yes.  Many times.

What is the most embarrassing CD you own?
I’m not embarrassed by any of my CDs, but, trying to think like others, I’d say Tom Jones’ Greatest Hits.  I love that campy stuff.  What?  It’s not intentionally campy? WHAT’S NEW, PUSSYCAT?!

Are you sarcastic?
Lovingly so.

What are your favorite colors?
Sunset pink and blue Curacao blue

How many watches do you own?
Four, I think.  Only one has a functioning battery.  Procrastinatrix!

Summer or winter?
Summer.  I hate when it’s pitch black out when I leave work.  I’m already dreading it.

Spring or fall?
Autumn weather is nice, but it’s the beginning of that dreaded darkness thing (see above).  Therefore, spring, the season for planting flowers.

What is your favorite color to wear?
I always get compliments when I wear fuchsia.  I think I look good in black.  And lately, I’ve taken to wearing light turquoise (neither too light nor too bright – think Tiffany’s boxes).

Pepsi or Sprite?
Sprite, please.

What color is your cell phone?
Silver and dark red.  This shit is fascinating, huh?

Have you ever slapped someone?
Again, I don’t think so.  I do think it would have been funny if that cop had bitch-slapped Zsa Zsa right back, though.

Have you ever had a cavity?
I have four teeny, pinhead-sized fillings that I got when I was 10.  Look, mom – no cavities since.

How many lamps are in your bedroom?
Two.  Only one is plugged in.  Don’t ask.  I don’t have a good answer.

How many video games do you own?
Hmmm, I have an old GameBoy Advance – Tetris, bowling, and something else I can’t remember the name of, but it’s sort of like Mario Brothers.

What was your first pet?
(Not counting the occasional goldfish or tiny turtle) Cory the killer tabby.  Good kitty.

Have you ever had braces?
Yes.  Just five years ago, I had braces on my bottom teeth for eleven months.  Purely vanity.  One of my front teeth had become pushed ahead of the others (my jaw is a bit too narrow to accommodate my teeth), so I had it pulled, and the braces went on to close the half space left by my departed snaggletooth.  I had to go to three orthodontists before I found one who would do braces on bottom only.  The others took the attitude of “I make every tooth in your head absolutely perfect, or I do nothing at all.”  Moneygrubbers.  Dr. T., however, was cool.  He openly admitted that 95 percent of orthodontics is cosmetic and not medically necessary.  His words:  “Are you in pain?  Are you unable to chew?”  If not, then it’s not medically necessary, and the choice is yours.  Yup, it’s all about finding the right doctor.

Do looks matter?
In terms of the opposite sex, my opinion about looks can change (for better or for worse) as I become more acquainted with the person inside.  Pretty boys become less pretty if they turn out to be jerks, and so-so guys become downright handsome if I fall for them.  Emotions rule, I guess.

Do you use Chapstick?
No.  I prefer Blistek.  I’m a lip biter, so I’m addicted to the stuff.

Name 3 teachers from your high school:
Mr. Murphy, Mr. Ellis, Mr. Rinaldi

American Eagle or Abercrombie?
Neither.

Are you too forgiving?
Ha.  I’m trying to be more forgiving.

Do you own something from Hot Topic?
Surprisingly, no.

What is your favorite breakfast?
English muffin, buttered and topped with two soft-boiled eggs, a glass of ice cold grapefruit or cranberry juice, and a cup of decaf Earl Grey tea.  Mmmm.

Do you own a gun?
I have squirt guns (including a super soaker), a laser gun that makes all kinds of neato sounds, and a glue gun.  No firearms for me.  (I do, however, keep an aluminum baseball bat in the house – I’m not telling where.  It’s red and pretty.)

When was the last time you cried?
I hardly ever cry.  I did get a little teary yesterday, though, as I was reading the lyrics to Tool’s “10,000 Days” (the single) while simultaneously listening to it.  “Ten thousand days in the fire is long enough, you’re going home” – referring to the many years Maynard’s mother endured partial paralysis and suffered from other effects caused by a brain aneurism.

What did you do 3 nights ago?
TOOL !!!

When was the last time you went to Olive Garden?
Not crazy about this place.  After successfully avoiding it for many years, Mom dragged me there earlier this year because she had a coupon or a gift card or something.  I had to send back my meal because it clearly was not as described in the menu.  Quite different, in fact.  Mom agreed.  I was so disgusted (and not very hungry to begin with) that I did not order something else.  Olive Garden blows.

Have you ever called your teacher mom?
Not that I recall.

Have you ever been in a castle?
No.

What are your nicknames?
My name doesn’t lend itself to nicknames.  Some of my friends will call me by my first and middle initials or first and middle names combo.

Do you know anyone named Bertha?
Oh, dear.  This was THE family name a few generations back.  A great-grandmother, a great-aunt, and some old cousin.  The only one in my lifetime was my great-aunt, and even she loathed her name.  I guess she never changed it out of respect to her mother, Bertha I.

Have you ever been to Hawaii?
Yeah.  Didn’t you read my ten or so posts from a couple of years ago?

Do you own something from Banana Republic?
No.

Are you happy with your life right now?
Yes, I am quite content.

Does anyone like you?
Oh, that’s just a pathetic question.  I’m not Hitler, you know.

What were you doing May of 1994?
Celebrating Mother’s Day and all those May birthdays:  Gram, Olivia, Jenny, and Toxic Noelle; planting impatiens in my window box.  (I did not yet have my flowerbeds dug.)

McDonald’s or Wendy’s?
Ick.  Wendy’s, I suppose.  The chili’s not bad.

Do you like yourself?
Whoa.  For a minute there, I thought that read “Do you LICK yourself?”  Yikes!

Favorite feature of the opposite sex?
I’ve got this thing for a nice man-chest.  Now, that I’d lick.

Are you afraid of the dark?
No.

Have you ever eaten paste?
Never even been tempted.

Do you have a webcam?
No way!

Have you ever stripped?
Yes, but only for an audience of one.  Please, no flash photography.

What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
I don’t know.  It might have been that Herbie the Lovebug movie I saw with Emma about a year ago.

What are your favorite TV shows?
These days, there is no must-see TV for me.  Sometimes, there’s something good on the History Channel.  That thing the other night about illegal drugs, though – I had to turn it off because it was creeping me out.  I think it was a combination of the subject matter and the narrator chick’s voice.

What did you have for breakfast?
Special K and cranberry juice.  Not in the same bowl, silly!

What is your middle name?
I’m not saying, but I will tell you that it was close to being Jane.  (You know it’s not Leigh, right?)

What foods do you dislike?
Any kind of melon.  Bockwurst.  Coffee yogurt.  Certain vegetables, if cooked (broccoli, summer squash, bell peppers, cabbage).

What is your favorite CD at the moment?
10,000 Days, of course.

Favorite sandwich?
Turkey club on seeded rye

What are your favorite clothes?
Anything that is clean, comfortable, and in which I look absolutely smashing.

What color is your bathroom?
Sage green

Favorite brand of clothing?
I don’t have a favorite brand.  I just like what I like.

Where would you want to retire to?
Hawaii

Favorite time of day?
No strong preference here.  If I’m to do something productive at home, I want bright sunlight.  Nighttime is for a whole other set of enjoyable activities.

What did you want to be when you were little?
Teacher, novelist

What is your best childhood memory?
Going to Ice Capades and being among the lucky children snagged to ride in the ice floats.  A love of figure skating begins…

Eye color?
Very dark brown.  Mom says they look like ripe olives.

Ever been toilet papering?
No.

Favorite day of the week?
Saturday.  Mine, all mine, all day long.

Dang, that was long.

Concert review forthcoming.

Stuck in my head:  “10,000 Days” – Tool

Comments: