Twittered

New Toy!!!

 Oooh, I think this could work well for me.  So many times when I want to update, but verbose me doesn’t have the time to get it all down, so it never happens at all.

Terse (and hopefully more frequent) updates will be on Twitter.

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Happy Easter

Sick and Tired

You make sick like dog, yes? 

Finally, after ten days, I feel like I can be counted among the living once again.  Goodbye, head cold from hell!

What a doozy.  I never get colds like that one.  Last Friday was the worst.  Coughed ‘til my abs and obliques ached and blew through countless dozens of tissues.  Then, as the cold lifted over the weekend, I came down with all the auxiliary symptoms – earaches, tummyaches, and sinus pressure.  Party!

This week, I was much less congested but e-x-t-r-e-m-e-l-y tired.  Fatigue like never before.  She who seldom hits the sack before midnight was going to bed at 10:00 every night, sleeping through the night, and still feeling draggy all the next day.  I felt like I could have slept for 20 hours and still been exhausted.  What the fuck?!  Oh, yeah, and I got my period, too.  Too much fun, I tell ya.

By yesterday, I had had it.  I nixed my plans to return to the gym for the first time in two weeks.  Likewise, I did not go to school to pick up my missed assignments.  I just wanted sleep, lots of it.  I calculated that if I went straight home from work and went to bed, I could get 12 hours of sleep.  And believe it or not, I felt like it wouldn’t be enough, but it was the best I could do.

I managed about 9½ hours’ sleep.  It definitely helped.  I am slowly regaining my appetite, following a daily diet of nothing but one mini-meal and lots and lots of juice.

I missed 1 night of school (I tried like hell not to miss any), 1 night of bowling, no gym for 2 weeks, and 2½ days from work.  The last one, of course, turned out to be the kicker.  Really, I needed four or five days out of work.  However, BFB Bob was grousing (what a dick), and if it weren’t so early in the calendar year, I would have just taken the days.  But with ten paid sick days per year, I really didn’t want to use half of them in the first quarter.

So, after being out for a day and a half, BFB Bob started asking all sorts of dumbass questions.  Clearly, he had no real interest in my health.  He just had his nose out of joint because I had been out sick.

“Have you been to a doctor?”  (presumably because I am seldom, if ever, out for more than a single day)

“No.  It’s just a bad cold, and it has to run its course.  Besides, I don’t want to take antibiotics for everything that comes along.”

“Well, you know, sometimes you need to.”

Fucking.  Self-Serving.  Asshole.

I was too angry to speak.  Once again, just as with my car trouble a couple of months ago, I suffer and somehow BFB Bob is the inconvenienced one.  That motherfucker douchebag prick attorney wanted me to go to a doctor, not for my own health, mind you, but so that I could pop some fucking magic pill and be in the office every damn day without fail just to do his bidding.  What I really needed (and what I so wanted to scream back at him) was rest, plenty of rest, at home, regardless of whether that suited his oh-so-fucking-important schedule.  Dick.

I mean, I made the effort to come in before I was fully recovered, and that’s the kind of crap I have to deal with?  Fucking ingrate.

I was out again the following day.  Don’t provoke me when I’m sick.

Anyway, it’s over, and now I’m back.  I just wish I had thought to lick all around the rim of Bob’s coffee cup while I still was contagious.

Ah, well, it’s the thought that counts.

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Protected: Watching the Detectives

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Dexterity Training

In the last couple of weeks, I have come up with a few things I would like to (and intend to) become better at:

1.  Tie a knot in a cherry stem using my tongue.

2.  Jello shots in one swipe.

3.  Using chopsticks.

Okay, those first two are the result of some recent tomfoolery at the bowling alley.  Dana, Lisa, and I often do a shot that contains blueberry Stoli, grenadine, some other liquor I can never remember, and a cherry.  They use stemmed cherries.  Simply put, I want to learn the knot trick.

For Valentine’s Day, Lisa brought in chocolate dipped strawberries, I brought in chocolate covered pretzels (Dana’s favoritest thing), and Dana brought in Jello shots (raspberry with vodka).  ”Because we have love in our hearts.  Screw the men.”  (Our toast.)

Now, the only kind of Jello shot I have ever done is the semi-set kind in a test tube.  Super easy, no problem.  Dana’s, however, were completely set in teensy two-ounce plastic cups.  The correct procedure, according to Lisa and Dana, is to go once around the perimeter with your tongue to loosen the Jello and then get it all out in ONE suck/slurp.  I was pathetically, almost embarrassingly inept.  Clearly, I need practice.

I don’t know what made me think of the chopsticks.

To that end, I have made my purchases:  a pair of stainless steel chopsticks, a jar of stemmed cherries (I only had stemless ones left over from my Christmas baking), a 100-count box of teensy lidded plastic cups, and a stash of sugar-free Jello.  (No need to use the alcohol in my practice shots.  I’m in training, dammit!)

So far, I only have attempted the cherry stem knots.  I made two!  Unfortunately, it took somewhere between five and ten minutes to complete each one.  Ha.

Practice makes perfect, though.  I’ll report on my progress at the end of the summer, the timeframe I have allotted for myself.

What can I say?  Learning never ends.

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