Part 2: Pourquoi?

So, why haven’t I been posting?  What have I been up to besides school and the loathsome job?

Well, my job took a turn for the busier over the summer, which turned out to be a damn good thing, as we were hit with 10 percent firm-wide layoffs a few months back.  This leaves me in the awkward position of having to be grateful for this job I so loathe.  More recently, at our “state of the firm address” (barf), we were told no raises, no bonuses for 2009.  Expected, but still sucky to hear.  Perhaps that’s because the CEO droned on for the next 40 minutes about how great The Devil is doing.  Yeah, if you’re a partner.  But for the no-raise, non-bonus getting staff and associates, well, you know.  Let’s put it this way:  Last year’s bonus covered four months’ tuition for me.  The Devil can suck my ass.

School?  My light at the end of the long, annoying tunnel.  The really good news:  I tested out of the Friday night English class!!!  Six brave souls coughed up the $50 (that could not be applied to English class tuition) and endured a 3-hour, 25-page English test.  One soul passed.  Yay, me!  Grammar Bitch* wins!

* Don’t judge by these posts, where I try to adopt a more conversational, casual tone.

Of course, no English class on Fridays means one thing – return to league bowling!  I subbed a few times in the fall and officially joined a team right after Christmas.  I carried over a 104 average, climbed to 107 (yikes), fell back to 104, and am now at 105.

I’ve also managed to squeeze in a couple of Girls Board Game Nights at Kelly’s house and a poker night with Lauren, Jeannie, and Leah.  And there was the day of tubing with Jenny.  My friends are adjusting to the fact that I, the girl who’s generally up for anything, now have a really tight schedule, and my free time (ha!) must be carefully coordinated.  They’ve also been told that I don’t think I can have anyone to my house until school is completed due to the house looking such a wreck.  Of course, with my three-year plan, I hope to be able to open my doors some time prior to that.  But possibly only a little bit prior.  Jenny has already been over, so she’s exempted, I guess.  A benefit (if you can call it that) of being friends since first grade.  Ditto for Olivia, when she visits from California again.

An inconvenient bummer occurred a few weeks ago, leaving school on a snowy night.  (By the way, I am SO OVER this winter.)  Walking towards my car, I noticed how odd it was that all of the car was covered in light snow except for the passenger’s window, which held nary a flake.  Um, yeah, that would be because THERE WAS NO WINDOW.  The punchbuggy had been broken into.  Admittedly, my own stupidity.  I know I should put my black work tote bag into the trunk, but I’ve just been too lazy to get into all the shuffling – pulling the steno writer case and book bag from the trunk, transferring my pocketbook (thank god!) and thermos of The Devil’s free decaf into the book bag.  Stupid, careless, lazy.  I could have done a better job of hiding the iPod radio transmitter, too.  The iPod itself (my big iPod, that is) was still in the pocket behind the passenger’s seat, its resting place while I’m in school.  Phew.  The thieves grabbed the tote bag and radio transmitter gadget.  In the tote bag were my glasses (the biggest inconvenience, even though I seldom wear them, except sometimes on rainy or snowy nights), sunglasses, earmuffs (it’s damn windy downtown), iPod earphones, office keys and building pass, and a few toiletries and personal papers of no value.  Those poor, unfortunate thieves.  I’m sure they were expecting to reap much more from that big tote bag.

Several days later, the police called me.  A resident in the vicinity of the school found my tote bag (with most of the items still in it!) shoved under the pine tree near his mailbox.  I retrieved my possessions from the police station.  Everything looked crummy, having been snowed on, then the snow subsequently melting, and all was covered in dirt and pine needles.  At home, dozens of disinfectant wipes later, all was salvaged, except that case that housed the iPod and headphones.  The only missing items were the headphones and the iPod radio transmitter ($75 value).  Fortunately, my eyeglasses were not damaged.  This, I could not determine at the police station, as the thieves had left the case open, and the glasses were dirty.  Dirty, but not scratched, it turned out.

I also learned that there were seven reported car break-ins in the area that night, and I was the only one to have items recovered.  In the end, the inconvenience proved to be short-lived.  I had the window replaced the following day and purchased a new transmitter a few days later on eBay for $11.  So, as stupid as I was, I was also damn lucky.

The (disinfected) tote bag and iPod transmitter now go in the trunk while I am at school.  The iPod comes with me (in my pocketbook).  Lesson learned.  Class dismissed.

On a sad note, yes, P.J. was put to sleep on October 25.  My sweet girl cat was with me for 17½ years, since she was just 8 weeks old, until kidney disease claimed her life.  She gave me her love while refusing to love other humans.  Some may call that bitchy, but as the target of her affection, I was quite touched.  She tolerated younger brothers Sam and Rory remarkably well, even though I know she would have been quite happy to remain an only cat.  The vet’s office was awesome.  Days later, I received a card with sweet comments from the doctor and all his staff and a clay casting of P.J.’s pawprints.  (I’ll try to remember to post a photo.)  You know it made my eyes tear up.

The saddest part about letting go of P.J., the main reason for my tears that day, was that her health declined more than I had wanted it to before saying goodbye.  Despite her low weight, she continued to eat and be active.  On Tuesday night, I noticed an overall decline in her appearance.  I called the vet on Wednesday, and we scheduled for Saturday.  Good, I thought.  A few last days together.  Thursday, she seemed the same, but Friday night she was downright frail and would not eat.  I put her on a folded up blanket on my bed, and she stayed there until we left the house on Saturday.  I felt that I had failed her.  I did not want her condition to get that bad.  I had no idea she would decline so rapidly.  The vet told me that’s usually how kidney disease/failure goes.  Now I know.  If I have to go through it again, the appointment will be for the following day.

Still, why haven’t I been posting?  No, not deep depression over P.J.  I’ve just been busy in general and in an automatic foul mood from nine to five, Mondays through Fridays.  That latter part, not a recommended way to live, believe me.  At times, I’ve been in a general funk overall.  Daylight Saving Time couldn’t have come a moment sooner, or else I’d have to toss Seasonal Affective Disorder into the mix, too.  On top of all that, I actually started to feel guilty about not posting.  So foolish, I.  Then I remembered why I started this blogging nonsense in the first place, some 5+ years ago – to appear busy at work when I had very little actual work to do.  That’s all.  “Enjoy the boredom” was my tagline.  Pretend writing and drafting of documents.  Sheer silliness, much like the inane essays and dialogues Olivia, Audrey, Sonia, and I penned for each others’ reading pleasure during eighth grade studyhall, under the guise of doing homework.

Certainly, I never wanted to share much of my personal life with the world unknown.  Still don’t.  No offense; I’m just more private than others.  Thinking back, though, I’d say I’ve revealed a fair amount of my life here.  I guess it just freaks me out to think there could be people out there who don’t know me know me but who know things about me.  As if anyone cares, but still.

Anyway, I’m still here, schedule permitting, writing inane essays for the Olivias, Audreys, and Sonias of the online world.

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