Pass the Vitamin C and Birth Control, Please

That crappy bug that’s going around?  I got it.  Three days before Easter.  Four days before my Big Exam.  The thought of studying while sick like dog is depressing.  But I trudge on.  A passing grade is 95+, and I intend to pass.  Yes, 95.  Court reporting is for hardasses.

Anyway, half the class was out last night, and the rest of us (save two or three people) were sick like dog.  Our instructor mentioned how great that Airborne stuff is supposed to be.  I had heard that before and meant to stock up at the beginning of the winter.  The instructor’s words, “Get the Walmart brand,” stayed with me, and upon leaving school, I bolted to that unappealing store.  Duh, I’m sure my preferred Target has its brand, too, but my thinking cap was not on after eight hours at the office and three more at school.

So, I got the store brand, some orange juice, and a couple of carbohydrate-laden comfort snacks.  While at the register, I overhead the cashier at the register behind me ask someone if it was her first.  The woman replied, “No, these are numbers six and seven.”

BABIES?

I had to take a glance to see what this was all about.  Actually, I’m sure it was more of an uncontrolled head jerk than a discrete glance.  Yup, babies.  The woman was preggers.  With twins.  Babies No. 6 and 7.  Yikes.  Who does that anymore?

Judgmental me:  She looked like a Walmart welfare mom.  Badly dyed hair tightly pulled back in a no-style ponytail and no makeup.  Who knows how many daddies behind those six pregnancies?  But then I cut her some slack.  I mean, would I look any better, would anyone look any better, with five children (none were with her, so I can’t guess ages) and twins on the way?  Hell, no.  I know I looked rundown at 9 PM, following eight hours at work and three more at school, all sick like dog, no children.

Driving home, I wondered if any of my high school classmates had that many children.  I remembered Jenny’s mother reporting that classmate Tracey had five, and that was some years ago, so maybe.  Heh.  I remember when I told my mother about Tracey (who wasn’t the brightest girl) and her five babies, including a set of twins.  “Ooh, she found something she’s good at.”  Killer.

My point here?  Nothing, except (1) I’m sick four days before my Big Exam (so sad), and (2) I don’t have seven children (so glad).

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