Earth Day, Corporate America Style

The Devil celebrates Earth Day today:  Contribute $5 to The Devil’s chosen green charity (total donation will be made under The Devil’s name, of course) and you get to wear jeans to work.

Hmmm, I think I need the $5 more than I need to wear jeans to work.  Sorry, Devil.  Sorry, Earth.  Yeah, I know, charity.  But here’s the thing — The Devil already has made it clear that there will be no staff bonuses, no staff raises this year.  Staff.  Partners are not staff.  Additionally, The Devil has its own charitable foundation, so if The Devil wants to donate to a green charity, I think it should pen off a check from its foundation instead of hitting up its peons for the cash.  I come to work to get paid, not to give money to my employer, not even in the name of charity.

I’ll donate to charities of my own accord, in my name, without corporate prompting, thankyouverymuch.

And while I’m being a petty bitch, let’s discuss The Devil’s tuition reimbursement program.  Under the program guidelines, I am entitled to $0 reimbursement per year.  Yeah, thanks.  It’s a pathetically measly annual cap, anyway.

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On a more pleasant note, thank you, Sam, for being my alarm cat this morning.  I must have inadvertently switched my alarm to “off” yesterday.  Your meowing woke me, and I was able to make it to the office just three minutes late.  You even let me sleep an extra 40 minutes, bless your feline heart.  Good boy.

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