Friday Five

Today is like the good ol’ days when I started at D’Land.  Idle at work and trying to look busy.  It’s been a while since I’ve been so unburdened, what with the office merging from two floors to one and all the requisite purging and reorganizing in addition to the regular workstuff.

So, out of complete boredom, and since I haven’t posted lately, and since it’s Friday…

1.  If you had a jar of peanut butter, what would you do with it?

IF?  IF I had a jar of peanut butter?  Does that imply that there could be a time when I DON’T have a jar of peanut butter?  Hah!  There is always peanut butter, at home and in my desk at work.  That’s emergency protein, you know.  That’s breakfast (all melty on an English muffin) or lunch when I have no time but to grab a couple of slices of bread.  For the record, it is Jif (I guess I’m a choosy mutha), and it is smooth.  Usually, it is Simply Jif, the reduced sugar variation.  It is regular Jif if there is a big sale and Simply Jif is not included in the big sale (bastards).

Oh, what would I do with it?  Well, last night I made chocolate-dipped pretzels.  I love, love, love my Wilton chocolate melter.  Dual heat settings (Melt and Warm).  Highly recommended.  I did some of the pretzels dipped in milk chocolate (my usual) and some dipped in a combination of two parts semisweet chocolate and one part peanut butter.  This idea came about after making some bars at Christmas.  The top layer was that melted chocolate and pb combo, and it was the best part of the bars, I think.  Also, they cut much easier than bars I have made that are topped with just melted chocolate.  No chocolate layer breakage, thanks to the peanut butter, I’m assuming.

2.  If you were to be cremated, where would you want your ashes to go and why?

Whoa.  That’s quite a change of pace.  How did we get from peanut butter to cremation?

Well, upon my death, it is my wish and desire that my body be cremated.  (Too much time working with attorneys in the Estate Planning Dept.?)  I do want to be cremated, and I don’t foresee anyone going against my wishes, as my mother and brother intend to be cremated, too.  My stepfather was cremated (his wish), and Mom purchased two small (cremation-sized) plots at the small cemetery where her parents are buried.  I do not wish to be buried, though.  It’s an impractical waste of real estate, I think.  Also, I don’t like the thought of being buried underground, whether I be dead, alive, or burned to a crisp.  (Oh, by the way, that scene in Kill Bill:  Vol. 2 where Uma Thurman fights, claws, and scratches her way out of the buried coffin and hauls her bloodied, dirt-covered self into the diner, gingerly sits at the counter, and asks for a glass of water?  Awesome.)

So where do my ashes go?  I see no need for my ashes to be kept in an urn on someone’s mantel or toilet tank or whatever.  My first thought is the ocean, Hawaii.  That might be cool to set up that as my “final expenses.”  Instead of a costly casket and burial plot, direct whomever to use my final expense funds to take a trip to Hawaii, my ashes in tow.  Go out to sea, celebrate my memory, have some yummy tropical cocktails, and set me free in the waters surrounding the loveliest place I have ever visited.  If the means aren’t there, then at least take me to Florida or the Grand Canyon, somewhere warm.  No Beavertail or Cape Cod, where Tina’s and Olivia’s mothers’ ashes were cast.  Of course, that was fine for them.  They had wonderful family vacation memories of their favorite local beaches, and it was completely appropriate for them.  But not for me.  The winters are much too chilly, and I prefer to think of myself in a warm and sunny eternity.

Oh, and flowers.  Duh.  Send some flowers off with my ashes, please.  White roses, maybe some pink ones, too.  If the Hawaii thing works out, feel free to include plumeria.  You know I like to have my flowers.

3.  If you could invent a flavor of jelly beans, what would it be?

Coffee ice cream, but not too sugary, please.  I like a strong coffee ice cream.

4.  What would your perfect paradise be like?

It would be like Hawaii but without the humidity.  Okay, not exactly.  I’m just having fond memories of Hawaii now.  But I do envision beautiful blue waters, just the right temperature to stroll right in.  There are lots of colorful flowers and lush, green plants everywhere.  There is no road rage or crazy drivers, no abused animals or unwanted pets.  All my favorite and necessary stores are nearby, yet my home is in a quiet area.  (I almost have that now.)  Trailer park trash types and entitled assholes do not exist.  There is frequent rain to sustain the plant life, yet showers are always brief and often, but not always, occur at night, for I desire the occasional daytime walk in the rain.  There is no Fox News.  There is some sort of magical snow that does not require freezing cold temperatures so that I might enjoy skiing, sledding, and building a snowman.  All foods are healthy and contain daily recommended amounts of vitamins, minerals, fiber, and all that good stuff without containing any excess fat, sodium, cholesterol, or calories.  A slice of cheesecake is just as healthy as a tossed salad dressed with a squeeze of fresh lemon.  Ditto for beverages.

And, of course, no crime and no war.

5.  If you could fly, where would you go?

Well, I’d fly to that paradise, of course.

On the way, though, I’d go to all the places I can only dream of seeing:  so many countries throughout Europe, a brief but scenic visit to Antarctica, a jaunt to Africa to see the big cats, on to Tokyo then Beijing, and some less frequented places, like Iceland (um, I guess that’s part of Europe, isn’t it?), just for the heck of it.

* * *

MLK weekend plans:

Tonight:  School (first night of Medical Terminology class), followed by a stop at the bowling alley.  As a result of the new class, I am forced to quit the league for the second half of the season.  Tonight, however, is the Holiday Potluck (post-holidays due to Christmas and New Year’s Eve falling on Friday).  The alley isn’t far at all from school, and class is only until 7:30 (as opposed to 8:30 for our regular Monday/Wednesday classes), so I’ll pop in for some free din-din.  And, yes, of course, I am bringing something:  the chocolate-dipped pretzels I made last night.  I’m not a total freeloader.

Saturday:  Errands, tidying, homework.  I’d like to go shopping for something to wear to bowlers Vince and Dana’s annual dinner party next Saturday.  I know it’s practically impossible to find seasonal attire now that everything is so picked over, but I’ll just check out one or two stores.  Not expecting success, I’ve already picked out two options from my closet, so I won’t make myself late trying to find something to wear that day (been there, done that, sorry).  Options:  (1) pale pink Land’s End cardigan trimmed with seed beads at neckline and placket (with brown pants); or (2) black and gray angora zebra patterned, 3/4 sleeve sweater (with gray or possibly black pants).

I should go the extra mile and decide on jewelry, too, following last year’s nonsense.  Not having just the right earrings, in my opinion, to go with my black and aqua kurta-style blouse, I raided my stash of beads and jewelry making supplies and made myself a pair of earrings.  At the last minute.  As I was getting ready to go to the party.  Stupid girl.  On the plus side, the earrings were perfect with the blouse, they go with lots of other stuff and I’ve worn them many times since, and miraculously I was not one bit late for the party.  Go, me.  Still, I should plan ahead.

Sunday:  Kelly’s Game Night Party.  Board games!  Fun!  We’re starting at 4:00, earlier than usual, to accommodate those who don’t get the Monday holiday.  I made the Buffalo Chex Mix last night, and it is all sealed (no picking!), ready to go.

Monday:  Possible visit to Mom’s but not likely.  I know, bad daughter.  I really want to get totally caught up on homework, though, and, if I’m extra lucky, start bringing my stuff back into the bathroom closet and vanity.  Yes, my bathroom may be finished by then.  Just three short months.  *heavy sarcasm*  OMG.  And then I’ll have to find time do all the painting — light sage green upper, light gray wainscoting, darker gray trim.  I’m thinking sage green and some smoky plum for the hand towels and decor.  Already loving the nickel hardware.  So long to all the wood and brass!  Before and after photos to follow, whenever the painting is done.

Okay, then.  That certainly killed a big chunk of time, didn’t it?

Happy long weekend!

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